in memoriam

[cassidyrose]

In roughly thirteen hours it will be the anniversary of Heather's death. Sometimes it hurts more now than it did then. Sometimes it doesn't seem real, and in some ways I cannot seem to make it real. She is standing right behind me in the picture I used to make this user icon (original photo here.) Her email address still sits on the Big Moves mailing list. I see it every time I do a mailing, I just can't take it off. Not yet at least. It really hit me that she was dead and not just away when someone posted to a mailing list about putting her ashes on an altar. "Ashes" was all I could see. It hit me hard. There are ashes because she is dead. It doesn't always make a lot of sense. Not just her death, but others' deaths as well.

Here's what I posted last year: this and this.

I don't have much else to say right now about it all, but I wanted to make sure I posted about it.

Goodnight.

Comments

[gremlin44.livejournal.com]

*thoughts*

Your words and the words of others paint a picture of such a fascinating, beautiful, strong woman.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

her memory is a blessing. thank you for sharing.

[loracs.livejournal.com]

I remember so clearly this time last year. I was at work and I kept checking my email every few minutes, knowing it would be the day that she had picked for leaving her pain, suffering (and us) behind. I still have her address in my personal email book too.
*hugs*