in memoriam

In roughly thirteen hours it will be the anniversary of Heather's death. Sometimes it hurts more now than it did then. Sometimes it doesn't seem real, and in some ways I cannot seem to make it real. She is standing right behind me in the picture I used to make this user icon (original photo here.) Her email address still sits on the Big Moves mailing list. I see it every time I do a mailing, I just can't take it off. Not yet at least. It really hit me that she was dead and not just away when someone posted to a mailing list about putting her ashes on an altar. "Ashes" was all I could see. It hit me hard. There are ashes because she is dead. It doesn't always make a lot of sense. Not just her death, but others' deaths as well.

Here's what I posted last year: this and this.

I don't have much else to say right now about it all, but I wanted to make sure I posted about it.

Goodnight.