sad news

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - Chaim Potok, the distinguished author and scholar whose works revealed Orthodox Jewish life to readers around the world, died on Tuesday at his home outside Philadelphia, officials at his synagogue said.

I read The Chosen for the first time when I was 11 and loved it. It had always been one of my mom's favorites, and it has remained one of my favorites, through several re-readings.

Is it so much to ask?

Is it so much to ask that I wake up at least one day this month without pounding head pain?

Grr.

I know it's just a headache, but it makes getting out of bed and getting to work a Herculean effort. Every fiber of my being just wants to go home and lie down with an ice pack on my head. I think it is time for me to go back to the doctor and press for allergy tests and a referral to a neurologist. He is fairly agreeable, so I should be able to get said tests and referrals, it is all just a big pain in the ass.

I am tired of being frustrated with myself for being so unmotivated and slow moving. I know much of the amotivation and sluggishness are results of my head hurting, but I am as sick of that excuse as everyone else must be. I am tired of hating myself for feeling crappy.

The odd thing is, I am usually OK during dance classes as long as the lighting is OK and I am near the mirror. The pain is there, but it is not too bad, however, I have never gone to dance when I really, really hurt. I think staring at the computer screen at work really intensifies the pain, as does reading, which is what I do all day at work--I read crap on a computer screen. I think I am able to divert my attention from the head pain during dance as other parts of my body are screaming for attention and I notice those above my head.

I don't know what I am blathering about here. I am just frustrated.

update on the headache

After spending some time away from the 'puter (spent rumaging in my car for coins and then in a meeting) my head feels a bit better. I still feel shitty about feeling shitty, but I must stop before I drive mysefl crazy.

I'm bored with what I am working on, yet nothing else seems very appealing.

Blargh.

Our stock has gone down nearly 4 dollars since Friday. Yikes. I am tired of this crappy valley economy. I am ready for an upturn. Like right now. I'd like there to be true employment options, rather than this crappy un- and under-employed bullshit.

Yes I am bitter and cranky today, why do you ask?

On the not so bitter and cranky end of the spectrum, my body seems to be adapting to serious dance training again, after a couple of months of pure show-related work. I did 7 classes last week, plus I taught one. It will be the same this week, and for the next 5 weeks. I am tired but surviving. I think I actually can ascertain some improvement in myself since last year at this time, and that feel good. I seem to be regaining a bit of flexibility in my knees, which is a very good thing. I am frustrated with some of my knee limitations so I am going to ask the doc if he can send me to a physical therapist--it would be nice to be able to get out of low chairs/sofas without having to first roll onto the floor.

I got a good amount of yummy and delightful champagne grapes in my produce box yesterday and four artichokes--Yippee!!! I am looking forward to trying out a cilantro-dipping sauce for the thistles. Last week we just had lemon-garlic-butter with them, but it was a bit heavy. I got blueberries, leeks, chard, and strawberries as well this week, but I think I am most impressed by the cuteness of the champagne grapes--they're so tiny any tasty.

Last night I made whole wheat penne with crookneck squash, green beans, and sundried tomatoes cooked in garlic, olive oil, basil, and vermouth. It was fairly good, although I need to work more with wines to get the proportions down just right. The dish looked better than it tasted, but it was still good.