Fuck the patriarchy

[cassidyrose]

In this week's patriarchy grossness news: I was in line at the grocery store last week. There was a man with a school-aged girl and a toddler boy (maybe 2ish_ in line behind me. The boy was sitting in the cart. For some reason or another he got upset and started crying. The man (presumably the children's father) said to him gruffly, "Are you a girl or a boy?! The child responded, "A girl". The man laughed and said, "No. You are a boy. Boys don't cry. Stop crying."

SO GROSS AND WRONG.

First, crying is a normal, human response. It is not tied to one's gender. Teaching a boy that he should not cry because that is not what his gender does is really, really messed up and leads to boys who are unable to appropriately express their emotions.

Second, it is totally developmentally appropriate for a two year old to cry when upset, even if that upset is minor. Annoying at times? Yes. But normal and totally appropriate.

Third, the entire thing is based on the presumption that boys would never want to be like a girl which teaches boys and girls both that girls and things thought to be female/feminine are of lesser value than boys and those things that are thought to be male/masculine.

ETA: Fourth, the kid said they were a girl which the man laughed at which was dismissive and gross. There are lots of reasons kids say they are a gender other than the one assigned to them, especially as a toddler when kids play with that stuff a lot and often don't really understand it, but whatever the reason it is important to respect and think about what they are telling us and the possible reasons why.

Way to teach misogyny, sexism, and femmephobia to your two year old, random dude in the grocery store.

Just gross.

Comments

[metaphortunate.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAGH!