cassidyrose: (baby pickle at farm)
I have been pregnant or nursing since November of 2006.

That's over seven years.

I said I would nurse L. until he was three but that came and went in December. He went five days without nursing at the very end of the year and I thought he weaned, but no, he was just taking a break. Over the past months I have gotten increasingly tired of nursing him and frustrated with him randomly chewing on me. He was only nursing 1-2 times a day, some days to go down for a nap (which is the only way he's even gone down for a nap that didn't involve driving around in the car) and before bed. I have been talking to him for a while about being done with "milkie" as he calls it and he would come to me every now and then, distressed, and say, "I want to do milkie".

So, we've still been doing milkie.

He has become more interested in the mechanics and recently asked me (and asked again tonight) "Are there tiny holes in your nipples?" I explained, yes, (basically), that is where the milk comes out.

Last week I decided I really wanted to be done and told him he could choose between milkie or watching an episode of his current favorite, "Tayo the Little Bus". He chose Tayo and went to bed with no milk. Until today we haven't had a nap situation that didn't involve the car and he got pretty pushy about wanting milkie, but I told him no and told him he had to still take his nap. I did still lie down with him until he fell asleep and he did. Tonight he got whiny about it again and I told him he already had Tayo so no milk. Then he said, "I want a little bit of milk from you" which was kind of heartbreaking, but then I said he could have a popsicle instead and then he was all good. He ate his popsicle in my lap and was fine after getting his nighttime cuddles in with me.

A lot of it at this point for him is habit and comfort. Trying to give him novelty to replace nursing is mostly working and helping him learn he can still sit on me and get his comfort is more of less working.

I am considering him weaned at this point. It has been a full week and I am not open to nursing him anymore. He is just shy of 40 months. I nursed S. for 31 months. That's a lot of nursing.

It feels kind of weird to think I am really, finally done with it, but I am really ready to be done and save for a few blips around losing his sense of routine he is ready too.
cassidyrose: (baby pickle at farm)
If you've ever wondered what my days are like, here you go...The first thing L. did this morning was get up, get a popsicle from the freezer and feed it to his stuffed sheep. A bit later he found a glow stick in S.'s room and stuck it into the side of the air purifier creating a horrific noise which terrified him and required me dismantling purifier to get it out. He was eating a banana a while ago and I noticed it was gone. I asked him where it was...he brought me to the family room and showed me where he had put the track of the sliding glass door, gratefully still encased in its peel. I was loading the dishwasher and he was focused on *unloading* the cooking utensil drawer. Just a moment ago he was following Harlie around trying to feed her his muffin. And just now he tried to stand on an office chair on wheels to attempt the retrieve on of Peter's radios from his desk. Oh, and we've only been up for a couple of hours because he had an epic middle of the night meltdown which kept me up until 4:30. And today? Today is what I consider a clam and relatively uneventful day with him (so far) as I have yet to find him *in* the bathroom sink, working on his knife skills with butter knives, or ingesting a non-food item.

And that is just with him at home and S. at school. Soon we go get S. and it can go either way after that. Sometimes they play together really well, and other times I have to just separate them as I cannot tolerate the screaming anymore. L. is in *constant* motion, and generally getting into constant trouble, or threatening to. We had to watch S. closely, but L. takes it to eleven..
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
L.'s fever broke yesterday and he got a rash this evening, so it appears he had roseola which is what his doctor suspected he had. He was ridiculously cranky and fussy today and I discovered that he has a molar cutting through. This would explain why I woke up this morning to him gnawing, yes gnawing, on my nipple. It has not been a good week for him.

Hopefully he will sleep better tonight and we will all sleep better.

[ profile] ptor has been taking the kids out for walks where he rides his unicycle, S. rides his bike, and L. chills in the stroller. It is a sight.

Tired from this week of illness.

Brain too scrambled to write much more.
cassidyrose: (light blur self)
A couple of weeks ago S. got sick and then better. Then last Wednesday he got *really* sick with an upper-respiratory thing. He stayed home from school, swimming, and pretty much everything the rest of the week. He is just now getting better. A little over a week ago L. was pulling on his ears and I took him to get checked out. No infection, just sinus congestion. Last weekend I got really sick with an upper-respiratory thing which seemed to clear mid-week and left me with a raspy voice. Then I started coughing Friday night and haven't stopped. It is mostly a dry cough so I am not too worried, but it is painful and I cannot sleep and it is painful. Last night I started feeling fluish and now I am congested again. On Friday, L. started with a runny nose and coughing. We were up much of last night with him and his wet, bad-sounding cough and my dry, very uncomfortable cough. I took L. to urgent care today and he has fluid behind his left ear and his right ear is infected (puss and everything!) That explains the excessive crying. The doctor believes he also has bronchiolitis. This explains his poor appetite and trouble nursing. He has lost half a pound in a week. He also cried through the exam then fell asleep while being examined.

He is on antibiotics for the ear infection now as well as regular ibuprofen for pain and fever. He is really, really sick. Sicker than I remember S. ever really being at this age and sicker than S. was recently.

Oh, and Peter had a couple of weeks of back to back sinus things so life around here has not been fun.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
We are in the process of a massive living room reconfiguration as L. has been using the safety fences to climb up onto the sofa, the side of the entertainment center, and just to climb up. Not good. Fences coming down, different style gates going up in the kitchen doorway and mid-hallway. All S.'s small (as in choking hazard) toys are being moved out of what was previously his living room area and into his room or the kitchen.

L. is a beast. A very strong beast. We are having to child-proof in ways we never had to for S., and S. already required more child-proofing than the average child. I am hoping we are able to keep furniture in the living room. Seriously. He is only thirteen months old so telling him "no" doesn't really do squat. All we can do is try to keep him safe.

This is quite trying.
cassidyrose: (Harlie tongue)
I just walked into the living room because I thought it was too quiet and I found L. standing on top of the table we have in there. That table comes up to his chest and he still managed to hoist himself up on it and then stand on it.

I am both horrified and impressed.

This kid is a new type of challenging.

I should add that S. has never stood atop any table of ours. This is new business.

2010 recap

Jan. 2nd, 2011 01:39 am
cassidyrose: (looking over shoulder)
To sum up 2010 I am tempted to say, "I had a baby in December of 2009" and leave it at that. Because, really, a whole lot of this year was devoted to the care of feeding of that baby and his older brother.

That said, here is a run down of the year:

I choreographed one new dance, which was really two dances, as it was a combination tap and jazz dance. It was some sort of postpartum mania which moved me to do this ~two months before a show. It's a great dance though, and the debut of tap with the Fly Girls.

I started another dance, a lyrical/contemporary piece, which I am really excited about.

I excavated a couple of other of my older dances.

Performed a handful of times, including our big show this past July, "Go Big or Go Home", where I performed six pieces, three of which were mine.

Taught a number of folks in a number of classes and took one master tap class which was awesome but kicked my ass and everyone else's as well.

In June I attended the NOLOSE conference and presented two workshops there. I had a great time and was happy with what I accomplished with my workshops. I still want to write up and post more about my "What about the Children? Fat Panic and Kids" panel here.

I know I did at least one interview for a student movie/documentary (I think) and I sadly cannot remember if I did any other media this year.

I started the process to be photographed by an fine art photographer, which may not sound like activism, but it kind of is. She is shooting a number of the Fly Girls. It sounds promising.

Had a few illnesses, including a bad stomach virus and one bout of food poisoning. Postpartum uterine injury which sucks and has impacted my dancing and general mobility. Stress fracture in foot (which I have been dancing on for over a year because it was misdiagnosed) and weird nerve thing down left side of lower body. Teeth mostly OK, eyes doing OK, skin OK...onward.

Kids doing well health-wise. L. got croup in June which was scary and required an ER visit and S. had handful of colds and stomach bugs. [ profile] ptor had a number of sinus things which sucked.

[ profile] ptor started working again in April after sixteen months of unemployment. This was and remains a very good thing.


I joined the executive board of S.'s preschool. It is a whole hell of a lot of work.

We started looking for a new place to live but kind of dropped it for the holidays. Need to pick it up again.

S. finished the three year old class at his school in June, went to summer school there, and entered the pre-K class there this past September. He is loving it and is starting to make friends which is great to see.

S. turned four this year and L. turned one. They are amazing.

I have cooked a lot and have expanded even more the type and variety of foods we eat. I have perfected my own banana-peanut butter-chocolate chip muffin recipe and have baked many other things. Not much time to fuss with yeasted breads this year, but hopefully soon we will get there.

I was really getting back into yoga, doing it while S. was at school and L. napped, but the stress fracture is forcing me to put that on hold for a while.

I got a new camera, a Canon Rebel, and have a very nice 50mm macro lens for it and a decent telephoto lens for it. I am working on my photography as I can in my mostly non-existent spare time.

Where we went and what we did

Due to the newborn situation and [ profile] ptor working a job where he doesn't get vacation time, we didn't take any big trips this year. However, we've done a lot as a family and even more just me and the kids. Most all Saturdays were spent in Berkeley with me at rehearsal and [ profile] ptor and the kids hanging out with [ profile] catzen, then we all would have lunch and hang out together. S. had school three days a week through July and since September has been going four afternoons a week. In addition to that are trips to the library and park, as well as music and swim classes for both kids. There were bike rides and walks and lots of cooking and baking.
For family bigger outings (or things I did with the kids), here is what our year looked like by month, according to my photo files: )
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
Christmas is over and it was all fun but the adults around here are feeling done. We did Christmas in the Park and Zoo Lights this week. Christmas Eve we did a gumbo dinner with [ profile] catzen and today we had my family here (my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, and [ profile] catzen. The kids got lots of gifts, including a veritable mountain of Legos for S. who spent the entire day working on them. L. is mostly excited about his new toy vacuum and just the general festivities. I got [ profile] ptor a grain grinder which he has wanted for a while and he got me a new drive for my computer (I need more storage desperately). I also had gotten the new camera a couple of months ago as an early birthday/Christmas gift.

S. and I decorated gingerbread cookies last night which was fun, but I am embarrassed to say my cookies do not look significantly neater or better decorated than his. He is good at this stuff. He had a lot of fun serving his cookies today--he was very proud of them.

So tired now. Oh, yeah, [ profile] ptor was working all day, so that kind of sucked and added to both our tiredness. He is off until New Year's Eve which is great. However, I have a complicated stress fracture in my foot that I am not supposed to be walking on any more than I am need to so a lot our possible plans have been dashed. So unamused about the clusterfuck of injuries I am dealing with, not to mention that I have been dancing on this injured food for over a year (it was misdiagnosed). Best case is minimal activity (no dancing, no swimming, no yoga, no walks, etc.) for two months while it is immobilized and it will get better. Worst case is surgery to remove stuff so that it can heal.


More about health later. For now, we made it through Christmas, the kids are finally asleep, and we really need some rest now.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
Got some stuff done today. We had L.'s one year well check today and he is doing quite well. He got four shots which he was really displeased about, but otherwise he did great. After that I took the kids to IKEA where S. was thrilled just to look at everything and L. was placated by Cheerio's. I got the all-plastic high chair there for L. to replace S.'s old big Graco one which we are just unable to get all the way clean anymore...yick. I also got some soft storage bins for L.'s toys, some storage containers for myself, a cute nightlight for S. for Christmas (I think it is supposed to be a monster, but he thinks it's an owl and he loves owls), lightbulbs, and some picture frames. Good trip.

This evening it was unexpectedly clear and dry so we took the kids to San Jose for dinner at Spaghetti Factory and then a late walk through Christmas in the Park. S. enjoyed the Spaghetti Factory experience (I hadn't been there in probably nearly ten years) as I suspected he would and loved Christmas in the Park as always. I should have just brought something to record his running narrative. L. enjoyed it as well, especially once he was out of the stroller and in the Ergo on [ profile] ptor. Kids were up *way* too late, but they had a great time.

Tomorrow is more errands. Thursday night we will probably do Zoo Lights at the Oakland Zoo.

In other news, still waiting on the MRI results on my foot (possible stress fracture). ::sigh::

Also, I had enough in Amazon gift cards and birthday money to order the telephoto lens I wanted. Not the most snazzy one in the world, but a decent one for what I was willing to spend. So excited. It will be here on Wednesday. And speaking of lenses, I just cannot quit the Sigma 50mm macro. I love that lens. Seriously.

Ok, to bed with me.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
Home from visiting my parents and other family for my and L.'s birthdays. He is enjoying all his new toys and S. is enjoying his "big brother" presents (small things gotten mostly to distract him from L.'s gift opening). I am headed to bed in a minute and hope to get some decent sleep. L.'s one year appointment is tomorrow, then maybe we will get S.'s hair trimmed.

I am wiped out from a VERY busy week last week. Last weekend I went to three parties then got food poisoning on Sunday night. [ profile] ptor had to stay home from work on Monday because I could barely move (though I did still manage to nurse L.). I still felt sick through Tuesday. On Wednesday S. had a dentist appointment and that night I had a long (three hours) school board meeting. On Thursday morning I had a MRI done on my foot (possible stress fracture) and Thursday evening was S.'s class holiday potluck. Fun, but I barely got to sit down on Thursday. Friday was a somewhat ill-advised trip to Toys R Us with the kids to get L.'s birthday gifts and Saturday we headed out of town.

Too. Much. Activity.

S. has no school this week which kind of sucks, especially since it is raining and L. has a runny nose, so indoor kid-places are out as well as outdoor stuff (though I may just send S. out back on the deck in boots and a jacket and tell him to collect rainwater or something. Christmas Eve and Christmas will be here because [ profile] ptor has to work a 6-6 on Christmas day.

That is all for now...must get some sleep.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
L. has developed preferred sleep positions and it is very sweet to see it play out. He was swaddled until around 6.5 months and was SUPER happy that way. We eventually had to let him sleep free though because he was getting too mobile for swaddling. He had to adjust, but now at eleven months he is quite comfortable. Now, when I put him down at night he rolls over to his left side and flops his legs over to make his body in the shape of an L. His feet touch the side of the crib and he sleeps this way for some time. Later in the night he usually rolls onto his belly and sleeps like until he wakes up to nurse and get into bed with me. The L-shaped sleeping is just so cute and sweet and I love how he has his own little patterns and preferences already.

four steps

Oct. 26th, 2010 12:29 am
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
A couple of weeks ago (October 13th to be exact), L. took what we called his first real steps: three free-standing steps in succession. On Saturday, and again today, he did four steps. Getting there with his walking, he is. The funny thing is that he will let go of whatever he is holding and just stand there, smile real big, and give himself a round of applause. He's a funny one.

Also? The top left tooth is seconds from bursting through. Just waiting for it to pop the gum.


Oct. 15th, 2010 01:06 am
cassidyrose: (Harlie tongue)
A teething baby is a cranky baby. Nearly ten months old and no teeth have sprouted yet. I hope a whole lot of them pop through real soon now.

That is all.
cassidyrose: (looking over shoulder)
Over the past couple of weeks L. has mastered clapping. It is now one of his favorite things to do. He claps all the time, and will even stand completely unassisted and just clap. He even claps underwater while he is swimming (we have a baby and parent swim class together). It is so cute. He also claps while nursing. The first time he did that I said "You are clapping!" and he smiled real big while still latched on. Sweetest. Thing. Ever.

We also think he may be clapping as a way to start signing "more" as that is a sign we are working on a lot with him, but it is not clear yet. However, tonight while nursing he pulled off and started clapping, then he started doing the sign for "milk" (first time ever!), then clapped again. He mimicked Peter when Peter did the milk sign, so we are pretty sure that was intentional. We hadn't really seen him so that with his hands like that before. We are pretty damn impressed.

Such a sweet baby.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
L. is nine months old today. We had his appointment and he weighed in at 22lbs 9oz (81st percentile) and was 29.5 inches long (87th percentile). He is an inch taller and three pounds heavier than S. was at this age (S. had also been sick around this age and had lost weight). L. is a a big, big guy. The super-powers of breastmilk, for sure, He checked out fine at the doctor and is doing well. He laughed manically when I was explaining his sleep issues to the doctor. Apparently he finds it much funnier than we do.

He is working seriously on trying to walk. He lets go and takes a partial step before he falls. He cruises like a mad man and is starting to climb.

He still says "mama" and says "ba ba ba" a lot in just random vocalization. He squeals and shrieks from time to time and just generally converses with us. He seems to understand more and more language now which is great.

Oh, and object permanence has arrived. I tossed the remote under a pillow the other day to keep it out of his reach and he went right for the pillow looking for his prized possession.

He is in love with Harlie. The poor cat gets drummed on and her tail pulled all day. But she tolerates it and doesn't move out of his way, so that's her deal guess.

He is extremely attached to me. He gets upset whenever he is handed off to anyone else, even Peter. He is ALL about mama.

He discovered he could drum water in the tub the other day. He was thrilled at this. He LOVES to drum.

He is kind of giving me kisses which is too sweet. He has as sense of humor, but he is more subdued in that way than S. was or is. L. is a chuckler and will humor you---S. is a gut-laugher.

The brothers love each other. S. always wants to be where L. is and L. loves watching S.

L.'s favorite toys are ones that play music. He plays with them endlessly. We are starting a music class (me and both the kids) next week. I think L. will really love it.

We love our cuddly little (big) baby. He is fun, and sweet, and mostly quite patient while tagging along to all his big-brother's activities.

I cannot believe he has now been outside of me for as long as he was inside of me. It all goes so fast.


Sep. 15th, 2010 01:00 am
cassidyrose: (Default)
Lest I forget the baby...

L. is pushing nine months. We just added in a second meal a day for him. So now he eats dinner with us and lunch at some point during the day. For dinner he has oatmeal mixed with a fruit, a vegetable or avocado, and typically frozen watermelon in his bag feeder device. For lunch it is just oatmeal mixed with fruit. As with S., we make all his food except for the oatmeal which we buy. So far L. has eaten (and enjoyed): oatmeal, rice cereal, bananas, pears, apples, cantaloupe, watermelon, plums, avocado, sweet potatoes, and kabocha squash. He loves his plums, avocados, and squash best. And he is crazy for the watermelon. He drinks a small amount of water when he eats and he has recently figured out how to get water out of the valved sippy cups (he can also drink out of an open cup). He loves to chew on/lick his bowls at the end of his meal. It is kind of like his victory lap. He is still nursing just about as much, though he more frequently will go four hours between nursing now. He is still mostly a milk baby.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
L. loves to drum. He slaps his little chubby hands on every surface and just delights in the noises he makes. His favorite post-dinner activity is to take turns drumming on his high chair tray with [ profile] ptor. We will note, however, that the drumming is less amusing at 4am when he is slapping his crib when he should be asleep. Oh, but he loves drumming so much and the smiles he makes when he is doing it are priceless.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
L. has taken to letting go with both hands while standing, maintaining his balance for a few seconds before he grabs on to something. I am sure he will be walking soon.
cassidyrose: (glasses/high contrast)
L. is pushing eight months now. Where does the time go?

He has been crawling since right around the seven month mark. Over the past couple of weeks he has mastered cruising and now can make his way around his area of the living room by walking along the baby fence and sofa like nobody's business. He even lets go and just balances by leaving one hand on the sofa cushion. I am sure he will be walking in no time.

He is vocalizing more and says "ba ba ba ba" a lot, in addition to "ma ma ma" which I mostly only hear when he is really upset.

We started solid food at seven months and he loves his food. He loves frozen watermelon in the the little mesh bag feeder thing and so far has enjoyed avocado, plums, sweet potatoes, applesauce, bananas, and oatmeal. He is eating just once a day now and we will increase to two meals soonish.

He still nurses frequently and loves his mama's milk.

He is really, really busy these days. He always wants to be moving around and loves playing with his toys and with his big brother. He favors toys that make noise and he loves playing with S.'s old music table. He chews on everything and anything. Still no teeth though. Oh, and he thinks Harlie is the BEST thing ever and laughs whenever he sees here.

L. is pretty patient when we are out and about and thankfully has come to enjoy chilling in the stroller, watching the action. He has been all over with us: Children's Museum, Ardenwood Farm, Oakland Zoo, Happy Hollow Zoo, parks, the library, The Tech Museum, the county fair, etc.

L. and I did our first set of parent and me swim lessons the past two weeks while S. had his semi-private lessons. L. loves the water and is really, really calm. He even lets me put him on his back in the water which S. never did. We had fun and I was really glad we got to do the class as I hadn't anticipated being able to do those classes with him.

He was a really good night sleeper but not so much since he transitioned to the big crib and out of the swaddle. We are struggling with that. So it goes.

Just so much going on. He is a real cuddly baby too and loves snuggling. Still fairly calm too and will sit on my lap taking it all in. We love him so much, as we love his big brother.

That is all for now. I just wanted to get it out before I forgot it.
cassidyrose: (looking over shoulder)
Yesterday, as soon as L. heard [ profile] ptor's key in the door in the evening he turned and looked at the door and smiled really, really big. So, so cute. I am somewhat amazed he has already figured out what that tell-tale sound at around 7pm means.

Also? L. started saying "mama" a couple of weeks ago. No lie. It has been verified by many sources. Really weird. He even said it while crying in his crib today (he'd taken a tumble) and he says it when he sees me walk away (which he does not like). He is super young and usually "dada" comes first because that is easier to say. S. had "dada" at around eight months and "mama" followed later, but L. is way ahead with this.

We started L. on soild food last week and so far he has had rice cereal, avocado, plums, and sweet potatoes. He has loved it all. He just grabbed the spoon and shoved it right in his month. He was quite ready at seven months old. I was really sad as he is no longer my purely breastfed baby and it signifies him getting older, but it is also fun and exciting.

And if I didn't mention it he is crawling, getting himself to sitting and kneeling from his belly, pulling to standing, and cruising. Mad baby skills, I tell you.

He loves his big brother, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is as funny and captivating as ol' Harlequin.


cassidyrose: (Default)

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